so i’m really poor, right
and a lot of times i’m not eating enough because we can’t afford it, not as much as we should be eating
so i’ve realized i’m falling back into the same old patterns, i can’t tell when i’m hungry anymore, and since my eating schedule also depends on my wife, it’s really hard to stick to any schedule time-wise
and i don’t know what to do :/
i kind of want to say fuck it and just see where the ED takes me this time
only last time i ended up with gastroparesis and i should probably not make that worse >.<
i don’t know what to do when i literally can’t afford to eat as much as i should be right now, and how to deal with the eating disorder at the same fucking time
Letting your guard down and lapsing before you can even notice yourself slipping
Each morning I wake up and I am grateful for the littlest things
I find great pleasure in the warmth of sun on my back
And when I can wake my mother for breakfast
Having a mental illness, and recovering, I have been made aware of the small pleasures life has to offer that I simply did not know about before
And I still struggle, I am often feeling low, but my appreciation is a separate entity
My passion for the smallest pleasures, is my recovery
When your ED convinces you that you don’t have a distorted body image
Skipping meals doesn’t make you stronger. Not eating doesn’t show restraint. Exercising heavily and starving doesn’t make you healthy. You are not your body, you are not your appearance, you are not other people’s perception of you.
You are stronger than this. Do not give in.
the sea always rises
closer to shore
these waves are not your conclusion
they are your introduction.
—M.H. , Drowning
some days I’m all about recovery, and some days my eating disorder makes me hate it. constantly going back and forth with myself in my head is exhausting.
"it is virtually impossible to conclusively prove that being overweight is bad for a person’s health. […] it would seem the biggest issue facing overweight people is not their weight, but social stigma."
Recovery is hard, the alternative is worse.